Aug. 30, 2011
This is the start of a new chapter in my life. Creating this website and putting the commitment to write and publish my journey through life is such a big step. I used to have a blog but the entries where too few and very far in between. It is what you would call in blogging terms a “dead blog”. The frequency and consistency of new updates is not enough to sustain interests. You might be wondering why I am doing this in the first place. It is definitely not about ego. In fact I am a very private person.
But then I realized that we live in an online world where information and gossip flows so freely that what is fact and fiction is hard to distinguish. This is my way of controlling my life. I am as of this writing 29 years old. I’m at the point in my life where I have to start making headway into achieving my dreams and goals. I cannot continue living life without anything to show during my stay on earth.
A lot of people spend their entire lives trying to figure out what they want to do with their life. They ask, what is their purpose? What is the one thing that they would be happy doing for the rest of their lives? Some people are lucky and they figure it out early on in their teens. A majority spend their 20s trying to answer this question. That’s why we go to university or go travelling, back packing around the world or volunteer, maybe take some time off, work a part-time job – activities that help us figure out what one wants to do with his or her life.
Not everyone is lucky to have this opportunity. There are those that due to economic reasons they don’t have a choice as to what they want to do. There are those whose parents made the decision for them regardless if the son/daughter agrees with the decision. As to my situation, I’m extremely lucky. I have a mother who supports me 100% in whatever I do. At times I feel guilty since I’m almost 30 and I haven’t yet done anything.
I went to film school. There I figured out what I wanted to do. I want to be a filmmaker. I wanted to do a lot of things – director, cinematographer, sound, producer, so on and so forth. I knew that whatever I choose, I can be good at it. But I realized that I can’t be a “Jack of all trades, a master of none.” I got to pick that ONE thing that I wanted to do. My mom once said, “Don’t be all over the place. Be a laser. Focus yourself on one thing. That way your energies won’t be wasted just like a laser, focused and powerful.” So I narrowed it down to directing and cinematography.
After film school, I worked on set in different departments from Lighting, Grip, Camera, Sound, Post-Production, Assistant Directing, Locations. I even went back to film school and worked as a staff for a couple of years. The only departments I haven’t worked in are Make Up, Costume, Greens and Art. I knew that to be a good filmmaker, one has to be well-rounded or at the very least knowledgeable on the different aspects and departments of filmmaking. That way when I make my own film, I can communicate effectively with the crew and understand better what measures are needed to achieve my vision.
I graduated from film school in 2004, now it’s 2011. I have gained a lot of filmmaking experience in the last 7 years. But I have grown complacent. I fell on a routine. Next thing I know, I’m 29 and I haven’t yet made a feature film. It’s not enough knowing what to do; you have to also put it into action. But time is always our enemy. If were not careful – a year, even a decade can pass by so quickly and if we dilly-dolly with our life and take time achieving our goals, we may be too old to continue doing it. That’s why it’s a dangerous thing to lose track of our time. We think since we’re in our 20s, it is ok to waste a year or two but then the next thing you know, you’re in your 30s or 40s or even worse 50s.
One thing I realized early on when I was still in high school is that “life is short”. Unfortunately people forget that fact. That’s why I have lived my life following the motto: “If you do what you love, you don’t have to work for a single day in your life. Life is too short to keep doing what you don’t want to do”. For better or worse, I have always followed this motto. I am still nowhere close to achieving it because of one single fact in life – money.
We need money to support ourselves in order to pay the rent and for food and water, electricity, transportation, all the necessities of life. And because of this, we end up taking jobs that we don’t like. The problem is when a job takes up too much time in our lives for us to do what we like. By the time we get home from work, we are so tired to do anything else that we just want to rest. At the start of this year I finally said, “Enough! I’m not going to let the lack of time be an excuse for me to achieve my dreams.” I took a part-time job on the weekends so that on the weekday I am free to do whatever I want.
The problem is I can’t keep doing this for long not only financially but also personally. I want to have a family of my own someday and the way things are – I can’t support them. That’s why I gave myself a deadline. After that, I have to move on and do something else. I would still continue following the idea of doing what I love or what makes me happy, possibly in a different area in filmmaking or something film related. Maybe I’ll walk the earth and be a writer. Who knows? But right now, I’m putting everything I have in becoming a film director.
This brings me back to this website and its purpose which is to act as a place to share my thoughts, my adventures and information. I hope you find something useful in this site and that it may help you in your own journey through life.